Thursday, 2/5

A bit out of it today. Came in somewhat unparticipatory... was glad we did table work, because that's not so hard to get into. I wanted to talk and talk and talk about Dionysus because I know lots about him and totally dig him... I'm especially fascinated by the influence his cult had on the Jesus figure. The roots of Christianity represent a deep and largely secret passion for me. If I could wish myself into anything without all of the training involved, I would be a scholar of ancient (mostly gnostic) Christianity, especially as it relates to Greek and ancient near-Eastern myth. I'd ruin my eyes at it, no doubt... and have no reward except in my heart and my mind... and I'd probably be totally fulfilled. I'd write overwrought poetry and long poetic essays about contemporary spirituality and myth as it relates to the development of Christianity and the millenarian mass-psyche... God, it'd be so fantastic. But for pipe dreams, where would I be?

Mostly just enjoyed walking around trying to get all Greeky. The goddess/god roleplaying wasn't bad, but didn't last long enough. Can't wait for next week and starting the text. Want to make my voice soar. I'm so fascinated by the idea of chanting and floating the voice over the tree-tops like a mythic mask, not so much a person. I really grabbed onto the short note in the packet about... "simplified and magnified." This, to me, is almost the essence of theater (and perhaps art in general). I'm getting pretty sick of psychological realism, I've gotta put it out there. I believe characters are masks which are worn by actors... no matter how "realistic" the characters, they are still artistic constructs (Hamlet, perhaps, the exception...). Ultimately, only the actor is onstage... the character is a filter through which the actor's energy reaches the audience. If the actor embodies the mask, then the mask itself will project across the space and into the audience. But again, no character has come to life. A mask has been worn and treated as an object of power, fear, veneration, and holiness. Theater is and as ritual. The Greeks understood this. Their characters were mythological in size and prowess. They were not humans but legends, huge and booming, representing and enacting the great epic arcs and sweeps of masses and generations, cities and worlds. In Oedipus is all the humankind that struggles for nobility, struggles to fulfill purpose and duty, struggles for answers beyond, struggles on in the face of blinding adversity... I'm excited to take on that kind of burden and understand through it what theater can really be... huge, strident, earth-shattering...